You’re Not Uncomfortable, You’ve Just Been Seduced by the Fantasy of Ease

The resistance against discomfort is a conditioned response related to the ease that social media has convinced us is prevalent. If you access this ease enough, anything contradicting it feels wrong.

I’ve been numbed into submission by social media and the pleasure of fantasy.

I recently wrote that line in one of my journal entries as I sat trying to understand why things felt so much more difficult lately. Aside from how askew the world has felt for the past half decade, effort toward things I enjoy or know are good for me has begun to feel like wading through quicksand. This isn’t to say life is particularly easy all the time (with seasonal depression and anxiety just a hop, skip, and jump away with the ever-looming Canadian winters), but I can confidently say that things didn’t feel as frictionful as they do now.

Chalk it up to maturity, a deeper awareness and understanding of the world’s complexities, or just the general disillusionment with the swift tumble into my early thirties (I could have sworn I was twenty-seven two years ago!), but what I’m now recognizing to be a vital factor in this emotional experience is social media and its fantasy of ease.

Off the bat, I want to emphasize that I don’t think social media is unequivocally bad. I’ve grown a bit bored of the conversations about living an “off-grid” life because they, too, are seemingly selling a fantasy—the fantasy of escape and a sense of control over our own impulses. Does the use of social media have its downsides? Of course! Does it also have the ability to help so many otherwise separated people connect with one another, and small businesses to flourish? Also yes! I’ve spent the last three years creating content and working with people on their personal development journeys because of social media. I’ve connected with other creatives and have been inspired by their journeys because of social media. I’ve learned so much in the span of only a few years because of social media. Ultimately, I think social media is a net positive when used appropriately.

With that being said, I’ve also found myself, at times, struggling to remember that pleasure isn’t and shouldn’t be as easily accessible as social media makes it seem. You want a boost of motivation? Scroll through some TikToks or Reels of people bombarding you with positivity and tough love. You want to learn about something that would otherwise require you to read and analyze a few books? Find a YouTube video that breaks down everything you need to know and summarizes all of those books you don’t have the time or energy to read. Again, this isn’t necessarily bad because it can be incredibly helpful (most of my content is quick, to-the-point videos that hopefully provide some awareness and clarity), but what I’ve realized is that the way with which we can experience life through the realm of social media might just be making us believe that if we encounter any sort of friction or difficulty in real life, it’s wrong and should be avoided.