Stop Being Loyal to the Image of You That They Have in Their Mind
The loyalty you have to this image that’s been imposed on you by someone else becomes all you know to be true about yourself.
Who you are and who they think you are might be two completely different people. Their idea of you might have nothing to do with how you want to be seen, and yet you play into it. You stay loyal to the image of you that they have in their mind because you don’t want to be a disappointment. You don’t want to shatter the sleek and shiny facade of predictability that’s been developed and maintained throughout the years. You succumb to the pressure of performance because you don’t want to admit you aren’t who they thought you were, who they want you to be.
The risk of fear and rejection that follows authenticity is enough to keep anyone playing a role that they don’t identify with. If you’ve been conditioned to believe that acceptance only comes when you play a specific role well enough, it’s understandable why you’d forsake your true self for a version of you that appeases someone else. This other person might be a family member, friend, romantic partner, or even boss. These dynamics all have a cost if you refuse to play by the established rules, so this essay isn’t to shame anyone who struggles to break free of them. My intention is to emphasize the importance of recognizing when you’re playing a role and to understand the implications that maintaining it can have on your self-worth.